Life

Meaning

2006-12-05T18:31:00.000-08:00

Hmmm i'm just feeling really lonely at the moment. Sometimes you just want to get someone to bitch with.... i guess being away from family and friends means that your bitching kakhis are not around... never knew i'll miss them.

But i guess the good thing is you focus on what is important and not loose sight of what is priority. Coz many a times there is a tendency to spend too much time with your kakis.... and with all the work commitment and stuff you don't really have that much time.

I'm just wondering about the meaning and focus in life. What if i focus on family and put less of a priority on career, what if one day my spouse and family decide that i did not excel as well in my career and therefore did not provide enough and thus forsake me? I mean if you are not able to provide as well as your friends/relatives who have spend alot of their time earning money and not focus on the family...... i'm sure the children will find a disparity. We've all been through this process before so we know. If our parents are not able to provide us a proper education while other parents were able to fully fund their education, we tend to think.. "whoa that person is so fortunate!!" At that age we will not have realised that our parents took a sacrifice on their career to bring us up and to develop a certain relationship with us.... How will my child think in the future? Will she lament that i was not as successful in my career and thus could not provide enought for them? Or worse still my child turns out to be a huge disappointment?.... then did i sacrifice for nothing? Is this too much a gamble to take? Maybe i should spend all my time on my work and neglect my spouse and child .... but at the end i can provide for them... maybe that will be better? I can develop relationship wth my spouse and child when i retire...? Difficult to strike a balance... i hope i am doing a good balance....

Life's hard....Need steering from the Almighty God!!!

Confused!!

Grass greener on the other side

2006-10-07T01:25:00.000-07:00

Well, we always think that we improve our surrounding by moving upwards to another place which is better and provide our needs better. The worse part of this whole process is when you realise that the grass ain't greener on the other side. Its the same shit all over again!

That's how i would describe my experience in my new environment. Different place, different colleagues but freaking same sort of shit.

But i still must be thankful, at least i don't get alot of distractions. I can spend more time with my family. Its funny how when you're in the midst of things, you don't really see the full picture. What i'm trying to say is, when i was back home and had so many friends and social outing, spending time with my family was not really a priority or something i place alot of importance in. I guess i kinda took it for granted. Its only when i'm over here that all my social "obligations" cleared away that i realise how much i missed spending time with my family!

i've made a conscientious effort to steer clear of social outings or to even extend and expand my social circle here in this new land. I have planned all my weekends with my family and have plans to visit as many place as possible while i'm here.

I really hope i can establish a really strong base with my family in this short 2 years so that even when the rough storm comes, we'll still be able to surivive!

Wedding Travelling

2006-09-13T23:57:00.000-07:00

Interesting drive into Ireland. Did my first driving in the UK. Rented a car and drove for 2.5 from Dublin airport (Republic of Ireland) to Tyrone County in Northern Ireland UK. Interesting as i was trying to decipher if i was in Northern Ireland or the Republic as the speed limit sign kept changing from KM/Hr to Miles/hr and vice versa. Had to apply a bit of common sense and quick mental sums to gadge the speed limit of my driving.

Got slammed and shamed!

2006-09-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

well, i was just publicly shamed by my wife to the rest of the blogger or voyeur world! Yes i admit i have problem writing... i'm not really good at this kind of things and my lack of writing flair has been the bane of my life!!!

It didn't help that my FIL is rather particular about tenses, grammar, punctuations and spelling.... was trying to reply his mail but was so worried about annoying him with my careless writing and also my lack of writing flair so i had to think and write and re-write my reply for a full 2 hours.

You know what... the mail was only like a half A4 size page... but well... it was tough for me. Have to think through my brain what the content should be like, structure it properly and think of ways to make it short and sharp without sounding too abrupt. Asked my wife to check through for mistakes and her opinion on my sentence structure and also grammar.

But you know what.... i think its good practise... there's alot of things i can learn from my FIL. If there is someone who can correct my writing and improve it why not! Rather stressful though!

Anyway.. i hope no one ever gets to read my blog! i don't think i have put enough information in this blog to identify myself!

i don't want to share with bebe!!

2006-09-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

hehehe... i'm starting my blog!! hahaha..... never ever thought i would want to share my inner most darkest thoughts out to the rest of the world! I use to keep a diary.. i must say a very personal one, until it was seriously violated by my g/f and now my wife! Since then.... i don't trust external copies of my thoughts... i've since... brought all these thoughts in house. I don't really trust this in house software... it degrades with time and there are some program bug that automatically delete off files that you no longer access... which is a shame.. but hey... cost and benefit of in house software!

I will update this if i ever feel that i want to! Oh.. can i restrict the access to my blog to only certain people? ie only those with access can see my blog? hmm maybe then personalise that for me.... something totally private... but i think the system is still too unsafe and more importantly i don't really trust the net! too much hacking and virus and all those things..

that's all for my first entry.. don't think anyone will see this. But at least if i leave a comment on my wife or JH's website, i'll have an ID.. :)